A New Discovery

On my trip to Shoogawn South America I made an amazing discovery. A team of scientists and I made our way into the deep regions of the rain forest. We set up camp after a long trek and decided to stay there for a few days. After we got everything prepared for camp we had a lovely dinner of mystery surprise stew. The kind of stew were you never ask or even try to imagine the contents of the bowl. Once while I was eating my stew I felt something wiggle as it went down my throat. I quickly grabbed my glass of mystery surprise water (no one knows if it's really water, mainly because it has a dark green color) and drowned the creature in my throat. Anyways, after our meal we all went to sleep. The next morning we all got up for some relaxing after our long journey. Around twelve P.M we noticed that one of the guys hadn't woken up yet. We nervously tiptoed over to his tent, praying that he wasn't awake so we could splash him with the bucket of ice cold water we had with us. But as we went into the tent we found he was gone. His tent partners told us that he went outside to use the bathroom and didn't come back until they had both fallen asleep.
"How do you know he came back if you both were asleep?," I asked.
They had no reply. We divided the team into three groups. Group 1 had half the rain forest experts, group 2 had the other half of the rain forest experts, and group 3 (the one I was in) consisted of what was later said to have the less needed people. So us in group 3 went off into the jungle looking for any sign of the lad who had been missing. (Since it might get confusing I will refer to the missing lad as Jed. I don't know his real name so Jed sounds nice to me. He most likely would have been part of group 3). As we walked through we found human tracks pressed into the soft earth. The tent partner that had come with us recognized the shape of the shoe, it was Jed's. We carefully fallowed them, each man ready the wet there pants and run at the slightest sign of danger. This was good for all of us, it meant that if one man found danger he would cause such a scene that it would alert the rest of us. But before we found any danger we found Jed. He was laying on the ground motionless.
"Jed are you OK?," one of the men asked.
Jed gave no response. I reached out my foot and shook his shoulder quite a few times. Still no response. I concluded that he was either a very heavy sleeper or he was weak. How do I know he was weak you probably wouldn't have asked? Well, simply this, some sort of large creature had eaten its way into his chest and had stolen a few of his vital organs. What a creature with the power to take down a human had use for vital organs I don't know, but the lad was dead. We all crouched down around him to say our goodbyes. And as we did so we searched his pockets for anything of value. We found nothing except a picture of his parents, his two younger sisters, and himself. It was at that point everyone started feeling very sorrowful. Suddenly from out of the bushes a huge creature sprang up on top of one of the men. Within .00002 seconds there was a frenzy of people wetting their pants and trying to run away in panic. Me on the other hand tried to keep cool. I even alerted the other two groups with a high pitched scream. (Whatever the other men say about it don't believe them, I know that I was for sure totally relaxed about the situation). One of the men who WAS panicking kindling knocked me down and I fell into a river hidden behind a large plant. It carried me down stream a ways before I finally was able to stop myself and pull up onto the soft ground. I checked myself over for any signs of damage. I was in luck, only two leaches had found there home in my body, both in my left leg. I sighed with relief and yanked the creatures out of my skin. As I made my way towards camp I met up with the rest of my group. All were running at top speed towards camp. One of them had a large snake coiled around their waste, biting at the neck, chest, and face area. It was the most spectacular animal I had ever seen. The snake, realizing that the man was putting up to much of a fight, released him and fell to the ground. Suddenly it spun its body around into the shape of a spring and flew high into the air. I came down quite forcefully onto another one of the men. I then remembered the gun I had in my pocket. I pulled it out, took careful aim, and shot the snake dead in the face. I slunked to the ground and died. The other men ran on to camp while I went over to the snake. I picked up a small stick (at my guess it was only ten feet long) and carefully pocked the snake a few times. But it was gone. I walked over to it and pulled out my pocket knife. Sliding the knife with ease I opened the creatures stomach. I found Jed's heart, I put it in my pocket just in case he wanted it back. I then dug all the way to the creatures bones. I found that it had something like a controllable metal like coil within its bones. This meant that the animal could use its body like a spring. And that's about all the excitement we got the rest of the trip. I did get into a few magazines and talk shows for this find. I can't wait for the next exciting adventure I may have.
-Dr. VonGon